your God, my God, their God

"dear God" is probably the most said phrase in someone's life.
from trying to score in an exam to trying to score a girl, you can bet "dear God" to be ever present.
of course, until I get what I wanted, the "dear God" will be alhamdulillah and after a few hours, "so long God".

its very fucking funny how I like to call for God.

and its very fucking funny too how at the same time, I dont believe in God.

when I pray, "dear God, please help me do this do that whatever bla bla bla".
but after that I worry like fuck.
whats the point of praying if I worry?
at first I call for God and then I worry that God can't help us?
what's my stance with God?
"i believe in You but i dont think You can help me so much".
is that it?
i'm better off worrying than to call for God.

and then if what I prayed eventually happened, I'd say alhamdulillah or nothing at all.
but if what I prayed doesnt happen?
"FUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!"
hoho. fuck me too sir.

thats me. plain me.