Wanderer

Im still here.
Waiting.
It has been 6 months.
Where are you?
You see, my heart used to be whole.
But then she left.
And a hole appeared.
I went insane for a while.
Looking to fill the gap.
It was excruciating.
To say its painful is an understatement.
A hollowed soul is the worst.
You feel the pain but theres no way to patch it.
Maybe time will fill the gap.
Weeks maybe, months, years.
Or eons.
I have never felt whats its like to die.
But im pretty sure this feels like half of it.
i kept begging for death.
so i could run away to my dreams.
Where im always happy.
Most of the time.
But here i am still.
Waiting for you.
To fill the gap, silly.
I dont even know why i wait.
I just want to feel whats its like to be whole again.
To have a friend that i can tell my feelings.
That i can take anywhere in my shenanigans.
A partner in crime.
And most importantly, in love.
I missed that feeling.
To be alone, just makes it worse.
And all my friends are leaving.
Im back being alone again.
Before this, I never cared about them leaving me.
Because i have you.
It doesnt matter if the world crumbles.
I still have you.
A friend.
And a lover.
But now, i can only look at the mirror.
Smiling back and consoling myself.
That it will be alright again.
I know it will.
Because you will come.
Right?
Im waiting in case you wanted to know.
Just knock ok?