Im still here.
Waiting.
It has been 6 months.
Where are you?
You see, my heart used to be whole.
But then she left.
And a hole appeared.
I went insane for a while.
Looking to fill the gap.
It was excruciating.
To say its painful is an understatement.
A hollowed soul is the worst.
You feel the pain but theres no way to patch it.
Maybe time will fill the gap.
Weeks maybe, months, years.
Or eons.
I have never felt whats its like to die.
But im pretty sure this feels like half of it.
i kept begging for death.
so i could run away to my dreams.
Where im always happy.
Most of the time.
But here i am still.
Waiting for you.
To fill the gap, silly.
I dont even know why i wait.
I just want to feel whats its like to be whole again.
To have a friend that i can tell my feelings.
That i can take anywhere in my shenanigans.
A partner in crime.
And most importantly, in love.
I missed that feeling.
To be alone, just makes it worse.
And all my friends are leaving.
Im back being alone again.
Before this, I never cared about them leaving me.
Because i have you.
It doesnt matter if the world crumbles.
I still have you.
A friend.
And a lover.
But now, i can only look at the mirror.
Smiling back and consoling myself.
That it will be alright again.
I know it will.
Because you will come.
Right?
Im waiting in case you wanted to know.
Just knock ok?
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Wanderer
Thursday, August 9, 2012
I think therefore i am.
I think im gonna write some normal stuff from now on. No more vague stuff. But then, who reads my blog anyway. But it wouldnt hurt to try. Hurt. Yes, so painful.
N i can blog from my phone now. Maybe i could blog more frequently. But then, who reads my blog anyway. Hahahaha.
I sound like a psycho but truthfully i am not. I just see things differently. But then, you dont care either.
So long.
Separation anxiety
Bell, i think i like you. Will you be with me and never leave? Like the others did?
Bell, i'd give all that i can. But will you leave in the end? Like the others did?
Bell, i'd with you as long as you need me. But will you leave me when u dont need me anymore? Like the others did?
Bell, i will never leave unless you leave me first. But will you leave me for real? Like the others did?
Bell, i'd go everywhere with you and share evrything. But will you still leave me? Like the others did?
Bell, i'd open my heart and share all the pain that you have and comfort you. But will you leave me when it all ends? Like the others did?
Bell, im not a murderer and i will never murder you. But will you leave me too? Like the others did?
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
pain is subjective
Pain, evryone will eventually feel it. But which pain? Pain can be categorized into 2. Physical pain and psychological pain. Physical pain, is usually inflicted en.you hurt yourself. There is physical contact, with a subject that you can see, feel. You sliced your hand with a knife, hello physical pain. You crashed into a lorry, hello severe physical pain. Your skin may disintegrate, leading to a wound. You can feel the pain, its agonizing, its painful and worse of all, it will always leave a scar. But then, maybe in 3 days, months or years, the pain is gone. You can look back at the scar but there is no pain.
The worst of it all is psychological pain. You cant see it, but it hurts. Its agonizing, its painful but it wont go away. You see your woman cheat on you, your body wont feel anything, but the soul feels it. And you will remember it evryday, until the day you die. You can never look at the scar, but its always there, never needing you to remind about it. And evrything about your woman, even her face will remind you of it. Every single second. Eternal suffering.
How do you wake up from such a nightmare? How do let go of something that can only be detached from you by death? Do you wait? Will you wake up? Or will you suffer eternal torment? Choices oh choices..
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
a slap on the face (to wake me up)
1400 years ago, Allah decreed that Muhammad SAW is given to mankind as a gift. rahmatan lil a'lamin. and through gabriel did Allah gave us muslims orders to be practiced. and when all the orders are completed, Allah decreed that Muhammad SAW is taken back to Him, at the age 63. it was a sign. a sign that this is the last straw. Muhammad SAW was the last line of prophets and his ummah is the last line of ummah. from hereafter, it was the end. there is no more future. only the end. and Muhammad SAW was sent to prepare his ummah for the end.
therefore, after the taking over of Muhammad SAW, towards the end, there will be no prophet. and the job of Muhammad SAW was entrusted with his ummah. and so, a few of them took this job on their shoulders. it looked easy but it was the hardest to execute. it is easier to arrive on time to see a movie at a theater than to do this job, as some would say.
the job was just going door to door of our brothers and invite him to engage in the obeying of Allah's will. and by Allah's will, those who heed the call, will come and engage in the congegration of prayers (usually isya'). all powerful Allah gives to those He wants.
but then, after working, we were led to believe that this job is done only to invite people in the congegration of prayer. as in, to make the mosque full of people.
and then Ramadhan came.
it was a blow, a devastating blow to some because during Ramadhan, the mosque were full! and that led some of us to believe that the job is done. Allah has finally granted rest during Ramadhan.
BUT!
the truth is far from that. It was a huge, big slap in the face to us that Allah is almighty, allpowerful and HE DOES NOT NEED ANYONE TO DO HIS WILL. His will is absolute. by just saying "kun", Allah could fill the mosque. and better yet, it was a sign that Allah does not need anyone to invite muslims to prayer. DOES NOT NEED ANYONE to walk and meet his brothers, telling him to come.
and that was the wake up call.
that the job entrusted on us was not to invite. it was an order. an unexcusable order. just an order that must be seen through by all muslims. just like how Muhammad SAW was made to do the same job. to meet his brothers and invite him to engage in the obeying of Allah's will.
what does that teach us?
that the job that was entrusted in us is not for those who we meet. IT WAS FOR US AND IT WAS AN ORDER THAT ALLAH WANTS US TO FULFILL. if we will it to see our brothers to come and engage in the congegration of prayers, Allah DOES NOT NEED us. Allah just need to give the month of Ramadhan and virtually every mosques will be full, everywhere in the world.
think again. be honest in evrything we do. and never stop doing it. just like Muhammad SAW did. until the day he died.
therefore, after the taking over of Muhammad SAW, towards the end, there will be no prophet. and the job of Muhammad SAW was entrusted with his ummah. and so, a few of them took this job on their shoulders. it looked easy but it was the hardest to execute. it is easier to arrive on time to see a movie at a theater than to do this job, as some would say.
the job was just going door to door of our brothers and invite him to engage in the obeying of Allah's will. and by Allah's will, those who heed the call, will come and engage in the congegration of prayers (usually isya'). all powerful Allah gives to those He wants.
but then, after working, we were led to believe that this job is done only to invite people in the congegration of prayer. as in, to make the mosque full of people.
and then Ramadhan came.
it was a blow, a devastating blow to some because during Ramadhan, the mosque were full! and that led some of us to believe that the job is done. Allah has finally granted rest during Ramadhan.
BUT!
the truth is far from that. It was a huge, big slap in the face to us that Allah is almighty, allpowerful and HE DOES NOT NEED ANYONE TO DO HIS WILL. His will is absolute. by just saying "kun", Allah could fill the mosque. and better yet, it was a sign that Allah does not need anyone to invite muslims to prayer. DOES NOT NEED ANYONE to walk and meet his brothers, telling him to come.
and that was the wake up call.
that the job entrusted on us was not to invite. it was an order. an unexcusable order. just an order that must be seen through by all muslims. just like how Muhammad SAW was made to do the same job. to meet his brothers and invite him to engage in the obeying of Allah's will.
what does that teach us?
that the job that was entrusted in us is not for those who we meet. IT WAS FOR US AND IT WAS AN ORDER THAT ALLAH WANTS US TO FULFILL. if we will it to see our brothers to come and engage in the congegration of prayers, Allah DOES NOT NEED us. Allah just need to give the month of Ramadhan and virtually every mosques will be full, everywhere in the world.
think again. be honest in evrything we do. and never stop doing it. just like Muhammad SAW did. until the day he died.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
membuka pintu langit
ade beberape trend yang sudah mcm populer di buat oleh sesetengah parents kt dunia ni. sebagai contoh, pernah dengar x makayah sape2 ckp, "sampai hati ko buat mcm ni. tangan ni la yang bagi ko makan <reaksi sedih>", "knape ko buat mcm tu? ko tu besar dgn duit aku tau?!! <reaksi marah>" dan sebagai nye. adekah anda setuju dengan perkare ini? mari kte lihat sape yang kene.
sebenarnye x berape sihat dan waras lah berkate perkataan mcm tu. dalam alquran telah dinyatekan bahwa, "Kami tidak meminta rezki dari mu, bahkan kami lah yang memberi rezki. dan kesudahan yang baik adalah bagi orang bertakwa". apekah yang cube diperkatekan oleh Raja nya di raja dalam ayat itu? semestinye yang mau diperkatakan adalah, dlm bahase simple, "rezki setiap kamu, datang dari kamu dan takutlah akan perbuatan kamu". cube kite perhaikan dalam konteks memberi rezki ini. dalam pengaturan Sang Pencipta dalam dunia ini, rezki semuanya telah ditetapkan, dalam kuantiti apa yang akan diberikan kepada semua makhluk. setiap makhluk telah diberikan rezki masing2, di tulis di dalam lauhul mahfuz. dan dengan perantaraan malaikan Mikail/Michael lah, rezki ini diturunkan. keyword die kat sini, rezki masing2.
kte lihat plak pade konteks ayat parents yang telah ditulis tadi. cube lihat balik dan ingat.
maka kte boleh mulekan pembahasan kte. dalam pengaturan Yang Maha Esa, make bg setiap makhluk, rezki nye sudah ditetapkan, dan dengan kadar masing2. bukan ramai2. make, sesiape saje yang merupakan makhluk, pasti akan mendapat rezki, walau dengan ape pun cara nya. ingat kembali ayat di atas, maka di sini kite akan mendapatkan anomali yang besar. menurut ibubapa yg sedih dan marah tadi, rezki anak nye seolah2 mereka yang datangkan. seolah2 mereka lah yang mencari wang dan makanan untuk anaknya. apabila seorang ibubapa mengakui bahwa die yang memberi rezki, maka mereka sudah mengakui bahwa mereka adalah tuhan, yang mana hukumnya syirik dan tidak akan diampuni dosanya. kite kene faham, sifat wajib bagi Allah SWT adalah mukholafatu lil hawadits. tidak menyerupai apa yang diciptakannya. maka apekah cocok seorang ibubapa mengatakan demikian? apekah wajar seorang ibubapa mengatakan die pemberi rezki?
mmg alasannye cukup meyakinkan, "kan sy yang kerje, dapat duit, beli makanan. tanggung semuanye". tapi! perlu diingat! rezki semua makhluk telah Allah SWT tetapkan. dan die akan mendapatkannye dengan cara yang pn Allah SWT telah tetapkan. seandainya kte ade gaji RM5000 dan kte spend dalam 2500 untuk anak2, maka yakin lah 2500 tadi bukan rezki kte dan kte xkn dapat balik walaupun mati hidup semula. tetapi rezki anak2 yang Allah SWT datangkan melalui perantaraan itu. mengapa anak2 dikatakan amanah? bkn sebab untuk dibesarkan dan dijadikan orang yg terhebat. tetapi Allah SWT nk tgk, apekah rezki yang diberikan kepada anak itu, yang mgkn kadang2 melalui kte (gaji, bonus uang, makanan, minuman dll) akan kite salah gunekan, atau MENGAKU-AKU kte yang berikan. pernah fikir x kenape memakan harta anak yatim itu dosa besar? karena itu amanah dan harta itu adalah rezki mereka.
jadi ibubapa sekalian, hati2 lah mase nak marah anak2 pada penggunaan kata anda. xsalah memberi pengajaran kepade anak dengan memarahi, tetapi jikalau terlibat mengaku2 sebagai pemberi rezki, akibatnye sangat fatal.
Friday, March 19, 2010
of intelligence and man
this will be a short post.
hadeeth A from Nabi SAW:
"the most intelligent of all you are the ones that remembers death most"
hadeeth B from Nabi SAW:
"when a human dies, henceforth he will be void of good deeds except for three things. alms and charity, knowledge that is beneficent and good mannered children."
the Q: what does an intelligent human has?
the A: he/she has knowledge that is beneficent.
the Q: what knowledge is beneficent?
the A: knowledge that makes us remember death.
the Q: who is the most intelligent person?
the A: those whom has knowledge that makes him remembers death.
the Q: what knowledge makes us remember death?
the A: religion.
therefore:
MEDICINE, ENGINEERING, SCIENCE COMPUTER, SCIENCE, AGRICULTURE etc etc is not equal to knowledge that is beneficent.
the only beneficent knowledge is religion.
hadeeth A from Nabi SAW:
"the most intelligent of all you are the ones that remembers death most"
hadeeth B from Nabi SAW:
"when a human dies, henceforth he will be void of good deeds except for three things. alms and charity, knowledge that is beneficent and good mannered children."
the Q: what does an intelligent human has?
the A: he/she has knowledge that is beneficent.
the Q: what knowledge is beneficent?
the A: knowledge that makes us remember death.
the Q: who is the most intelligent person?
the A: those whom has knowledge that makes him remembers death.
the Q: what knowledge makes us remember death?
the A: religion.
therefore:
MEDICINE, ENGINEERING, SCIENCE COMPUTER, SCIENCE, AGRICULTURE etc etc is not equal to knowledge that is beneficent.
the only beneficent knowledge is religion.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
serpihan
Identity A: ngote tuan
identity B: hahahah
identity B: ko g mne?
Identity A: aku da de kt umah
identity B: tgk bola?
Identity A: lum lg
identity B: mmg la...
identity B: kol 2.45 kan..
Identity A: aah
identity B: tuan tgk kat umh ek?
Identity A: aah
identity B: nk dtg umh aku meh r..
identity B: ke nk lyn blue sorg2...
Identity A: haha
identity B: esk dorg dh blik..
identity B: hahahaha
Identity A: alah
Identity A: aku bru ingt nk ajak ko men pes
identity B: hahaha...
identity B: emmm...aku dh bwk msuk moto..
identity B: lgpun...
identity B: mate aku dh kuyu sekuyu kote aku yg besar ni..
Identity A: hmm
Identity A: kote klu kuyu manede besar
identity B: kote bsr pun leh kuyu la...
identity B: cume
identity B: aku pye kuyu tu xsme la han ko pye kuyu..
identity B: hehehehe
Identity A: haha
identity B: esk la ek...
Identity A: orait2
identity B: ko latih la dlu..
identity B: hahaha
Identity A: eh
Identity A: aku rase mcm da fhm sket la ngan soalan ko smlm
identity B: ha...
identity B: cmne?
Identity A: apekah bende paling dasar dlm dunia kite ni
identity B: kote aku?
identity B: hahahaa
Identity A: kurang tepat
identity B: bnde plh besar??
Identity A: jwpn die kote aku
identity B: hahahah
Identity A: bukan besar
Identity A: basic
identity B: iman>??
Identity A: nope
Identity A: ko ni
Identity A: ade blaja physix x
identity B: hahahaha...
identity B: aku fail fizik...
Identity A: hmm
Identity A: xpe
Identity A: kimia?
identity B: hahahaha...
identity B: ape la salahnye ko ckp je jwbn die...
identity B: hmmm
Identity A: haha
Identity A: bende paling mendasar dlm dunia ni adelah atom
Identity A: yg dlm bhase greek bermaksud tidak boleh dipisahkn
Identity A: ade kah anda setuju
identity B: emmm stuju la...
identity B: tp ape yg berat nye?
identity B: hahahaha
Identity A: silap2
Identity A: xde kaitan pn ngan berat
Identity A: skarang aku ade soalan lg
Identity A: apekah sifat atom
identity B: brgerak scra rawak..
Identity A: dalam kate lain, sentiase bergerak
Identity A: skrg soalan nye, apekah hukum tenage?
identity B: aku fail fizik..
Identity A: oh
Identity A: maag
Identity A: *maaf
Identity A: hukum tenage ialah
Identity A: tenage tidak boleh dihapuskan
Identity A: cume boleh di tukar menjadi tenage lain
Identity A: chaye --> panas
identity B: ok..
Identity A: jadi
Identity A: bagi satu atom yg sentiase bergerak
Identity A: die pasti ade tenage
Identity A: karena pergerakan memerlukan tenage
Identity A: tenage nasional
Identity A: hahah
Identity A: ko kne tipu
identity B: hahaha...
Identity A: eh
Identity A: x la
Identity A: aku men2 je
Identity A: sbnrnye mcm ni
identity B: ok..
Identity A: badan kite ni, adelah berbasis carbon
Identity A: dalam kate lain
Identity A: carbon yg berikat2
Identity A: 1 zarah carbon belum boleh menjadi manusia
Identity A: tetapi berjuta zarah carbon, sekirenye d ikat akan menjadi daging, tulang dll
identity B: ok..
Identity A: jadi
Identity A: ko pnah dgr teori big bang?
identity B: pnh dgr tp xtau ape tu...
identity B:
Identity A: teori terjadinye semua jagad raye ni dari 1 letupan besar
Identity A: dari letupan besar ni, make telah mendapatkan lah carbon2 tenage
Identity A: dengan izin Allah make telah terjadi semua bende
Identity A: tenage yg diperlukan untuk meletup td
Identity A: datang nye dari Allah
Identity A: jap
identity B: so...ape kaitan gan sln aku smlam?
Identity A: aku cam de lupe plak la
Identity A: mcm ni kot
Identity A: di sebabkn letupan tu berasal dari ciptaan Allah
Identity A: make tenage Allah lah yg di beri
Identity A: apebile manusie mati
Identity A: sbnrnye
Identity A: roh die berpindah arah
Identity A: berdasarkan teori kekekalan tenage
Identity A: tenage tidak pernah luput
Identity A: cume berubah
Identity A: apekah yang menyebabkan kte bergerak
Identity A: pergerakan pergerakan dari atom2 carbon kte ni
Identity A: makenye apebile kte mati
Identity A: tenage roh
Identity A: akan pindah menjadi tenage lain
Identity A: masuk ke alam lain
Identity A: bak kate Identity C
Identity A: air ke air
Identity A: tanah ke tanah
Identity A: begitu pulak la jasad kte ni
Identity A: disebabkan tiade lg getaran dari roh
Identity A: make x bergerak lg
Identity A: jasad kte ni
Identity A: jap2
Identity A: aku hilang ingatan
identity B: hhahahha..
identity B: Identity A...
identity B: bola dh start...
Identity A: hmm
Identity A: aku rase
Identity A: nk tgk bola lah
identity B: ok2...
identity B: kte keep in vitro dlu...
Identity A: haha
Identity A: kiv
identity B is typing...
identity B: nti esk ko cte ek..
identity B: hahahah
identity B: ko g mne?
Identity A: aku da de kt umah
identity B: tgk bola?
Identity A: lum lg
identity B: mmg la...
identity B: kol 2.45 kan..
Identity A: aah
identity B: tuan tgk kat umh ek?
Identity A: aah
identity B: nk dtg umh aku meh r..
identity B: ke nk lyn blue sorg2...
Identity A: haha
identity B: esk dorg dh blik..
identity B: hahahaha
Identity A: alah
Identity A: aku bru ingt nk ajak ko men pes
identity B: hahaha...
identity B: emmm...aku dh bwk msuk moto..
identity B: lgpun...
identity B: mate aku dh kuyu sekuyu kote aku yg besar ni..
Identity A: hmm
Identity A: kote klu kuyu manede besar
identity B: kote bsr pun leh kuyu la...
identity B: cume
identity B: aku pye kuyu tu xsme la han ko pye kuyu..
identity B: hehehehe
Identity A: haha
identity B: esk la ek...
Identity A: orait2
identity B: ko latih la dlu..
identity B: hahaha
Identity A: eh
Identity A: aku rase mcm da fhm sket la ngan soalan ko smlm
identity B: ha...
identity B: cmne?
Identity A: apekah bende paling dasar dlm dunia kite ni
identity B: kote aku?
identity B: hahahaa
Identity A: kurang tepat
identity B: bnde plh besar??
Identity A: jwpn die kote aku
identity B: hahahah
Identity A: bukan besar
Identity A: basic
identity B: iman>??
Identity A: nope
Identity A: ko ni
Identity A: ade blaja physix x
identity B: hahahaha...
identity B: aku fail fizik...
Identity A: hmm
Identity A: xpe
Identity A: kimia?
identity B: hahahaha...
identity B: ape la salahnye ko ckp je jwbn die...
identity B: hmmm
Identity A: haha
Identity A: bende paling mendasar dlm dunia ni adelah atom
Identity A: yg dlm bhase greek bermaksud tidak boleh dipisahkn
Identity A: ade kah anda setuju
identity B: emmm stuju la...
identity B: tp ape yg berat nye?
identity B: hahahaha
Identity A: silap2
Identity A: xde kaitan pn ngan berat
Identity A: skarang aku ade soalan lg
Identity A: apekah sifat atom
identity B: brgerak scra rawak..
Identity A: dalam kate lain, sentiase bergerak
Identity A: skrg soalan nye, apekah hukum tenage?
identity B: aku fail fizik..
Identity A: oh
Identity A: maag
Identity A: *maaf
Identity A: hukum tenage ialah
Identity A: tenage tidak boleh dihapuskan
Identity A: cume boleh di tukar menjadi tenage lain
Identity A: chaye --> panas
identity B: ok..
Identity A: jadi
Identity A: bagi satu atom yg sentiase bergerak
Identity A: die pasti ade tenage
Identity A: karena pergerakan memerlukan tenage
Identity A: tenage nasional
Identity A: hahah
Identity A: ko kne tipu
identity B: hahaha...
Identity A: eh
Identity A: x la
Identity A: aku men2 je
Identity A: sbnrnye mcm ni
identity B: ok..
Identity A: badan kite ni, adelah berbasis carbon
Identity A: dalam kate lain
Identity A: carbon yg berikat2
Identity A: 1 zarah carbon belum boleh menjadi manusia
Identity A: tetapi berjuta zarah carbon, sekirenye d ikat akan menjadi daging, tulang dll
identity B: ok..
Identity A: jadi
Identity A: ko pnah dgr teori big bang?
identity B: pnh dgr tp xtau ape tu...
identity B:
Identity A: teori terjadinye semua jagad raye ni dari 1 letupan besar
Identity A: dari letupan besar ni, make telah mendapatkan lah carbon2 tenage
Identity A: dengan izin Allah make telah terjadi semua bende
Identity A: tenage yg diperlukan untuk meletup td
Identity A: datang nye dari Allah
Identity A: jap
identity B: so...ape kaitan gan sln aku smlam?
Identity A: aku cam de lupe plak la
Identity A: mcm ni kot
Identity A: di sebabkn letupan tu berasal dari ciptaan Allah
Identity A: make tenage Allah lah yg di beri
Identity A: apebile manusie mati
Identity A: sbnrnye
Identity A: roh die berpindah arah
Identity A: berdasarkan teori kekekalan tenage
Identity A: tenage tidak pernah luput
Identity A: cume berubah
Identity A: apekah yang menyebabkan kte bergerak
Identity A: pergerakan pergerakan dari atom2 carbon kte ni
Identity A: makenye apebile kte mati
Identity A: tenage roh
Identity A: akan pindah menjadi tenage lain
Identity A: masuk ke alam lain
Identity A: bak kate Identity C
Identity A: air ke air
Identity A: tanah ke tanah
Identity A: begitu pulak la jasad kte ni
Identity A: disebabkan tiade lg getaran dari roh
Identity A: make x bergerak lg
Identity A: jasad kte ni
Identity A: jap2
Identity A: aku hilang ingatan
identity B: hhahahha..
identity B: Identity A...
identity B: bola dh start...
Identity A: hmm
Identity A: aku rase
Identity A: nk tgk bola lah
identity B: ok2...
identity B: kte keep in vitro dlu...
Identity A: haha
Identity A: kiv
identity B is typing...
identity B: nti esk ko cte ek..
pada mulanye
ini blog entry aku yg first berbahase melayu. bahase melayu aku mmg teruk. jadi klu aku ade campor2 sket mcm pasar kn, korg wat xreti sudah la. aku ade satu kisah. kisah ni aku dgr dari orang yg aku syg. org yg aku syg ni ckp die dgr, mase die kecik mcm aku, dari ulama2 tua. skrg, org yg aku syg tu da umur 75.
pada mulanye, semuanye hitam. xde ruang. mungkin gelap wallahua'alam. make diciptakan lah nur. nur dgn pencipta ni sangat rapat. tp bkn mcm rapat adik dan abang. lebih kepade rapat api dan panasnye. pencipta nye adelah api, nur nya adalah panas. baru kemudian muncul perkare ruang dan masa. ciptaan yang baik. maka, stlh itu, nur ini pun dimandikan. sprti burung mandi. biasenye burung klu pas mandi, die tebar2 sayap die. dan khas dari burung ni, tebaran pertama sayap die tu, maka jatuh lah titik2 air kehidupan. dan dari titik2 itu lah terjadi nye pesuruh2, hamba2 dan binatang. dan kemudian pada tebaran kedua, terjadi lah pokok2..
kesudahan cite ni aku xdgr lg. tp klu sape2 tahu kesudahan cite ni, korg tahu x ape yg akan berlaku? time-space continuum explosion. exactly.
Assalamualaikum.
pada mulanye, semuanye hitam. xde ruang. mungkin gelap wallahua'alam. make diciptakan lah nur. nur dgn pencipta ni sangat rapat. tp bkn mcm rapat adik dan abang. lebih kepade rapat api dan panasnye. pencipta nye adelah api, nur nya adalah panas. baru kemudian muncul perkare ruang dan masa. ciptaan yang baik. maka, stlh itu, nur ini pun dimandikan. sprti burung mandi. biasenye burung klu pas mandi, die tebar2 sayap die. dan khas dari burung ni, tebaran pertama sayap die tu, maka jatuh lah titik2 air kehidupan. dan dari titik2 itu lah terjadi nye pesuruh2, hamba2 dan binatang. dan kemudian pada tebaran kedua, terjadi lah pokok2..
kesudahan cite ni aku xdgr lg. tp klu sape2 tahu kesudahan cite ni, korg tahu x ape yg akan berlaku? time-space continuum explosion. exactly.
Assalamualaikum.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
telling Me what to do
people use to pray for anything when they want it. example given: oh God please give me 4 flat in my next exam.
and then after they got their result, there are 2 things that will happen: 1. he/she gets 4 flat. 2. he/she doesnt get it.
in the case that this certain individual gets what he/she wants, he/she will feel happy and possibly grateful for a certain time.
the problem arise when this certain individual doesnt get it. he/she will certainly moan and groan and bitch about it and highly likely "talk" to God asking, "why didnt you give me what i prayed for. havent i prayed for it? havent i put the effort for it? i cant believe You did this....." and so on.
it seems that we have forgotten who is the Master. hahaha. it is hard not to laugh at it but who are we to tell God what to do?
if i created two different items for you in front of your eyes and i said, "hmm, this 1st thing is a waste. its useless. take the 2nd one. its a million times better", would you still want to take the lesser creation?
the same thing goes for us. quoting 87:16 from the holy quran from www.islamicstudies.info:
(87:16) No; but you prefer the present life
*16 Description: That is, "O man, alI your thoughts and endeavors are only for the world, its ease and comforts, its benefits and enjoyments. You regard whatever you gain here as the real gain and whatever you lose here as your real loss"
(87:17) whereas the Hereafter is better and more enduring
*17 Description: That is, the Hereafter/Akhirat is preferable to the world for two reasons: first, that its comforts and pleasures are far superior to aII the blessings of the world; second, that the world is transitory and the Hereafter/Akhirat everlasting.
hahaha. its funny isnt it? God Himself has said that this world is just a waste. but then, for something that is from this world (as in the 4 flat he/she prayed for), we dare to be at odds with God.
there is no word that could describe this. it is the pinnacle of stupidity and idiocy and foolishness.
ang guess what, God have also saved the best verse for us about this. quoting 2:18 from the holy quran from www.islamicstudies.info::
(2:18) They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind so they will not return (to the right way).
*18. They have become deaf to hear, dumb to utter and blind to perceive the truth.
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
and then after they got their result, there are 2 things that will happen: 1. he/she gets 4 flat. 2. he/she doesnt get it.
in the case that this certain individual gets what he/she wants, he/she will feel happy and possibly grateful for a certain time.
the problem arise when this certain individual doesnt get it. he/she will certainly moan and groan and bitch about it and highly likely "talk" to God asking, "why didnt you give me what i prayed for. havent i prayed for it? havent i put the effort for it? i cant believe You did this....." and so on.
it seems that we have forgotten who is the Master. hahaha. it is hard not to laugh at it but who are we to tell God what to do?
if i created two different items for you in front of your eyes and i said, "hmm, this 1st thing is a waste. its useless. take the 2nd one. its a million times better", would you still want to take the lesser creation?
the same thing goes for us. quoting 87:16 from the holy quran from www.islamicstudies.info:
(87:16) No; but you prefer the present life
*16 Description: That is, "O man, alI your thoughts and endeavors are only for the world, its ease and comforts, its benefits and enjoyments. You regard whatever you gain here as the real gain and whatever you lose here as your real loss"
(87:17) whereas the Hereafter is better and more enduring
*17 Description: That is, the Hereafter/Akhirat is preferable to the world for two reasons: first, that its comforts and pleasures are far superior to aII the blessings of the world; second, that the world is transitory and the Hereafter/Akhirat everlasting.
hahaha. its funny isnt it? God Himself has said that this world is just a waste. but then, for something that is from this world (as in the 4 flat he/she prayed for), we dare to be at odds with God.
there is no word that could describe this. it is the pinnacle of stupidity and idiocy and foolishness.
ang guess what, God have also saved the best verse for us about this. quoting 2:18 from the holy quran from www.islamicstudies.info::
(2:18) They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind so they will not return (to the right way).
*18. They have become deaf to hear, dumb to utter and blind to perceive the truth.
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
They are deaf; they are dumb; they are blind
Sunday, March 22, 2009
are u with us or are u against us?
do you remember when we used to do this? boycotting the mother of all tyrants? do you still remember how we were back then? the passion and the will to save everyone? but now, what has happened? just because the war had stopped, it is ok to consume/finance what we agreed to boycott before? or we just dont care at all actually? it was all fake back then?
dont stop the boycott. our brothers/sisters needs your support and not for only 1 or 2 months. REMEMBER! it is not the war that we are stopping, it is the one that we are financing are to be stopped.
we heard a lot of skeptics saying this and that (we know who you are and you cant hide from us) but hey, lemme sum it up for you:
if eating/buying/financing Israeli-based or any other Israeli-financing products is LEGAL, than me and you, we ain't done nothing wrong.
BUT
if eating/buying/financing Israeli-based or any other Israeli-financing products is indeed ILLEGAL, than you, WE WILL SEE YOU FUCKING ROT/BURN/SUFFER IN HELL.
its you who made your choice. we've made mine and never looked back.
Monday, March 16, 2009
your God, my God, their God
"dear God" is probably the most said phrase in someone's life.
from trying to score in an exam to trying to score a girl, you can bet "dear God" to be ever present.
of course, until I get what I wanted, the "dear God" will be alhamdulillah and after a few hours, "so long God".
its very fucking funny how I like to call for God.
and its very fucking funny too how at the same time, I dont believe in God.
when I pray, "dear God, please help me do this do that whatever bla bla bla".
but after that I worry like fuck.
whats the point of praying if I worry?
at first I call for God and then I worry that God can't help us?
what's my stance with God?
"i believe in You but i dont think You can help me so much".
is that it?
i'm better off worrying than to call for God.
and then if what I prayed eventually happened, I'd say alhamdulillah or nothing at all.
but if what I prayed doesnt happen?
"FUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!"
hoho. fuck me too sir.
thats me. plain me.
from trying to score in an exam to trying to score a girl, you can bet "dear God" to be ever present.
of course, until I get what I wanted, the "dear God" will be alhamdulillah and after a few hours, "so long God".
its very fucking funny how I like to call for God.
and its very fucking funny too how at the same time, I dont believe in God.
when I pray, "dear God, please help me do this do that whatever bla bla bla".
but after that I worry like fuck.
whats the point of praying if I worry?
at first I call for God and then I worry that God can't help us?
what's my stance with God?
"i believe in You but i dont think You can help me so much".
is that it?
i'm better off worrying than to call for God.
and then if what I prayed eventually happened, I'd say alhamdulillah or nothing at all.
but if what I prayed doesnt happen?
"FUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!"
hoho. fuck me too sir.
thats me. plain me.
the life of a student
haha. im sorry but you have been duped.
how many years have u spent ur life in schools?
17? 18? 20 years? thats without your masters.
how long will it take?
to become the best in the world?
whilst someone who cant afford to be in ur place spends almost all of his/her life in poverty?
haha.
you've been duped man.
you know there is something wrong with this world when a certain amount of number and an alphabet determines our future.
you've been duped.
how many years have u spent ur life in schools?
17? 18? 20 years? thats without your masters.
how long will it take?
to become the best in the world?
whilst someone who cant afford to be in ur place spends almost all of his/her life in poverty?
haha.
you've been duped man.
you know there is something wrong with this world when a certain amount of number and an alphabet determines our future.
you've been duped.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
old stuff i found
*i found this draft while editing my old posts. it was made around 2 years ago. its incomplete but here it is*
"musuh dalam selimut" - "enemies in the blanket"
"duri dalam daging" - "thorns in our flesh"
"api dalam sekam" - "ember in a haystack"
there is a conspiracy upon us. there is a conspiracy upon us, the persecuted muslims. let me be frank, we are always the ones being bashed around for being barbaric. we are always the ones being toyed aroung for being medieval. we are GUARANTEED to always be the ones to be blamed for crimes we did not commit. and so we are here. living peacefully. are we?
we may be living peacefully, but our siblings are not. our siblings in russia, india, america, palestine. they are not so lucky like us.
and the most ironic thing is that we can sit here happily, only thinking about ourselves, thinking about our studies, our jobs, our family, our money. its funny isnt it? it is very funny and the most funniest part is that we dont even care about them.
we dont blame us. after all, we were programmed to be like this. to not care. to NEVER care. who cares if they died? we know we dont. and dont we forget to mention, we were also programmed to be like this. to obidiently obey the system that has been forged by someone who we dont even know and with our life, we put our trust in him. we thought we dont even care, but then why follow him?
there is a conspiracy upon us. yes, a conspiracy to paralyze us muslims. havent we forget? there are 1.8billion of us and still we are being pushed around? the jews are only 14.8million and they are killing everyone else. what kind of mathematics is that? thats FOOLS maths!
there is a conspiracy upon us my comrades. we have been deceived from birth. our forefathers have been deceived. all of us. we are FORCED to sit through school for 6 years and then through high school for another 6 years and then we are FORCED to undergo another 4 - 5 years of so called higher education program. and end up with a PIECE OF PAPER?. and do you know in the end we will also be forced to BEG for a job? what kind of maths is that?
and towards the end, we will be FORCED to slave for a piece of paper called money. everyday, everyweek, every month, every year, forever. we have stopped believing in the Almighty to be our sustainer but will faithfully believe that money is our God. money is our sustainer. money is our happiness.
we are being fooled upon comrades. as our brothers die in vain because of an evil that we dont even care to abolish, then one day the Almighty will ask us the same question:
"As your brothers die in vain, what did you do to repay the evildoers?.
and here comes the funniest part of this story, with our mouths shut, our hands and legs will cry:
"we were busy working for ourselves, we were busy goldmining for money, we were busy studying for ourselves, we were busy enjoying our holiday, we were busy my Lord.
and the Almighty will ask again:
"Didnt you even gave a seconds thought for they pain and suffering?
and our hands and legs will cry again:
"No my Lord. we didnt even cared. we didnt have anytime to care"
can u see now com...
*END*
"musuh dalam selimut" - "enemies in the blanket"
"duri dalam daging" - "thorns in our flesh"
"api dalam sekam" - "ember in a haystack"
there is a conspiracy upon us. there is a conspiracy upon us, the persecuted muslims. let me be frank, we are always the ones being bashed around for being barbaric. we are always the ones being toyed aroung for being medieval. we are GUARANTEED to always be the ones to be blamed for crimes we did not commit. and so we are here. living peacefully. are we?
we may be living peacefully, but our siblings are not. our siblings in russia, india, america, palestine. they are not so lucky like us.
and the most ironic thing is that we can sit here happily, only thinking about ourselves, thinking about our studies, our jobs, our family, our money. its funny isnt it? it is very funny and the most funniest part is that we dont even care about them.
we dont blame us. after all, we were programmed to be like this. to not care. to NEVER care. who cares if they died? we know we dont. and dont we forget to mention, we were also programmed to be like this. to obidiently obey the system that has been forged by someone who we dont even know and with our life, we put our trust in him. we thought we dont even care, but then why follow him?
there is a conspiracy upon us. yes, a conspiracy to paralyze us muslims. havent we forget? there are 1.8billion of us and still we are being pushed around? the jews are only 14.8million and they are killing everyone else. what kind of mathematics is that? thats FOOLS maths!
there is a conspiracy upon us my comrades. we have been deceived from birth. our forefathers have been deceived. all of us. we are FORCED to sit through school for 6 years and then through high school for another 6 years and then we are FORCED to undergo another 4 - 5 years of so called higher education program. and end up with a PIECE OF PAPER?. and do you know in the end we will also be forced to BEG for a job? what kind of maths is that?
and towards the end, we will be FORCED to slave for a piece of paper called money. everyday, everyweek, every month, every year, forever. we have stopped believing in the Almighty to be our sustainer but will faithfully believe that money is our God. money is our sustainer. money is our happiness.
we are being fooled upon comrades. as our brothers die in vain because of an evil that we dont even care to abolish, then one day the Almighty will ask us the same question:
"As your brothers die in vain, what did you do to repay the evildoers?.
and here comes the funniest part of this story, with our mouths shut, our hands and legs will cry:
"we were busy working for ourselves, we were busy goldmining for money, we were busy studying for ourselves, we were busy enjoying our holiday, we were busy my Lord.
and the Almighty will ask again:
"Didnt you even gave a seconds thought for they pain and suffering?
and our hands and legs will cry again:
"No my Lord. we didnt even cared. we didnt have anytime to care"
can u see now com...
*END*
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
one awkward thing
in the spirit of today, i would like to humbly apologize to everyone that i know, including my parents, my siblings, my friends, my teachers and everyone that knew me. i know that i am a walking sack of clumsyness and i am an irritant. i apologize if i have hurt anyone with my words, writings or even actions. i would also like all of you to know that i am honored by your presence and your kindness towards me. i dont deserve this kindness.. i am nothing actually..
and i hope that my apology is accepted..
should i see you again, lucky you. should i not see you again, lucky me.
and i hope that my apology is accepted..
should i see you again, lucky you. should i not see you again, lucky me.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
building the perfect lie
here is some of the few miracles of the modern age:
FACT:
we hear news everyday.
FACT UNKNOWN:
the news we hear are from sources that are not from here. (reuters, afp, etc)
FACT:
news are delivered to us by networks.
FACT UNKNOWN:
most networks (cnn, bbc, etc) tamper with the news.
FACT:
all of us believe what we are fed.
FACT UNKNOWN:
and the networks laughed at our stupidity.
MORE FACT:
news travel from the news agency, then to the networks.
MORE UNKNOWN FACT:
the news is even tampered upon by the news agency.
we do not want to go on. we would kill ourself. but let us walk together, and think. in what kind of world are we living in now?
we cant even listen to anything without it being torn and spined in pieces. and whats more, what we listen now is profiteering some people who considers themselves important. and what does that make us? unimportant persons? to be lied and cheated by them? we are sick by the lies. and we do not want to hear anymore.
and with their politics. its all the same thing. lying has been in their blood. we are sick of being bullied and kicked around like sheeps. you are supposed to takecare of us and now no? and now you cheat and lie and steal from us that will cost our children's future?
and with their television. its all the same thing. and to mock their job as an actor, they also lie. they should be called liars instead of actors. and they lie, and tell us what we should do? and now you tell us what we should wear? and now you tell us how should we live our lives?
and with their news. its all the same thing. what kind of news is it when it is filled with bias and lies? it should be called lies. and to make us sick even further, news are decorated and dissected just to profit other people. and makes us the fool. isnt that what you ARE NOT supposed to do? isnt it your job to educate, no "mental-retarda-te" people?
and with their wise people. its all the same thing. with all of ur religious views and knowledge, you still would sell your soul? for some papers of unknown value? hasnt God taught you anything? and now, we can see all our religious people mimick what the non-believers do? we sing nasyid and call it an academy? we recite the holy (please note: HOLY) Quran and make it into a reality show? what kind of madness have all of you contracted? hasn't God taught you anything?
and with us, its all the same. we are being lied upon, like fly on a hot pot of shit. we are feasted upon because some of us are helpless. and none of you will help us, instead prey on us? is that what humans do now? if someone from us is being good to everyone he knows, even strangers, he is called mad? because he is being good? and he is persecuted for his behaviour? what kind of madness have all of you contracted? hasn't God taught us anything? to be kind with others, to be truthful with others, to be helpful with others. and now you prey on us? play with our trust in you?
IT IS YOU WHO SHOULD BE PERSECUTED, FOR TREATING OTHERS BADLY.
IT IS YOU WHO SHOULD BE PERSECUTED, FOR LYING TO OTHERS.
IT IS YOU WHO SHOULD BE PERSECUTED, FOR CHEATING TO OTHERS.
IT IS YOU WHO SHOULD BE PERSECUTED, FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE TO OTHERS.
do you know how degrading it is to even become a human nowadays? humans have no value whatsoever nowadays. even animals know to take care of their children, even animals know to protect their group and even animals know not to cheat others.
"if you cannot find a leader who is sincere and trustworthy from your society, then you must run to the forests and stay under its root. and stay there, until you die.." - similar meaning of prophet Muhammad's (p.b.u.h.) hadith about what to do near the end of the world.
FACT:
we hear news everyday.
FACT UNKNOWN:
the news we hear are from sources that are not from here. (reuters, afp, etc)
FACT:
news are delivered to us by networks.
FACT UNKNOWN:
most networks (cnn, bbc, etc) tamper with the news.
FACT:
all of us believe what we are fed.
FACT UNKNOWN:
and the networks laughed at our stupidity.
MORE FACT:
news travel from the news agency, then to the networks.
MORE UNKNOWN FACT:
the news is even tampered upon by the news agency.
we do not want to go on. we would kill ourself. but let us walk together, and think. in what kind of world are we living in now?
we cant even listen to anything without it being torn and spined in pieces. and whats more, what we listen now is profiteering some people who considers themselves important. and what does that make us? unimportant persons? to be lied and cheated by them? we are sick by the lies. and we do not want to hear anymore.
and with their politics. its all the same thing. lying has been in their blood. we are sick of being bullied and kicked around like sheeps. you are supposed to takecare of us and now no? and now you cheat and lie and steal from us that will cost our children's future?
and with their television. its all the same thing. and to mock their job as an actor, they also lie. they should be called liars instead of actors. and they lie, and tell us what we should do? and now you tell us what we should wear? and now you tell us how should we live our lives?
and with their news. its all the same thing. what kind of news is it when it is filled with bias and lies? it should be called lies. and to make us sick even further, news are decorated and dissected just to profit other people. and makes us the fool. isnt that what you ARE NOT supposed to do? isnt it your job to educate, no "mental-retarda-te" people?
and with their wise people. its all the same thing. with all of ur religious views and knowledge, you still would sell your soul? for some papers of unknown value? hasnt God taught you anything? and now, we can see all our religious people mimick what the non-believers do? we sing nasyid and call it an academy? we recite the holy (please note: HOLY) Quran and make it into a reality show? what kind of madness have all of you contracted? hasn't God taught you anything?
and with us, its all the same. we are being lied upon, like fly on a hot pot of shit. we are feasted upon because some of us are helpless. and none of you will help us, instead prey on us? is that what humans do now? if someone from us is being good to everyone he knows, even strangers, he is called mad? because he is being good? and he is persecuted for his behaviour? what kind of madness have all of you contracted? hasn't God taught us anything? to be kind with others, to be truthful with others, to be helpful with others. and now you prey on us? play with our trust in you?
IT IS YOU WHO SHOULD BE PERSECUTED, FOR TREATING OTHERS BADLY.
IT IS YOU WHO SHOULD BE PERSECUTED, FOR LYING TO OTHERS.
IT IS YOU WHO SHOULD BE PERSECUTED, FOR CHEATING TO OTHERS.
IT IS YOU WHO SHOULD BE PERSECUTED, FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE TO OTHERS.
do you know how degrading it is to even become a human nowadays? humans have no value whatsoever nowadays. even animals know to take care of their children, even animals know to protect their group and even animals know not to cheat others.
"if you cannot find a leader who is sincere and trustworthy from your society, then you must run to the forests and stay under its root. and stay there, until you die.." - similar meaning of prophet Muhammad's (p.b.u.h.) hadith about what to do near the end of the world.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
cold and alone
until when can we stop fighting?
until when can we stop arguing?
until when can we start loving?
until when can we start living?
i am cold,
i am tired,
i am sick of humans.
you humans, fucking egomaniacs.
you humans, fucking psychopaths.
you humans, fucking murderers.
didnt you know you are the greediest bastard God has ever created?
didnt you know that the animals themselves loathe at you?
didnt you even know that you are nothing?
you lie, with your stupid politics.
you cheat, with your stupid tongue.
you steal, with your dirty words.
just to get what that is not yours?
don't you have any shame?
why do you think that u are so superior?
because of your luxury cars?
because of your fucking mansion?
because of your beautiful wife?
because of your filthy fuck money?
you humans makes me confuse.
you humans make the animals confuse.
you sickfuck thrashed the forests.
you sickfuck pollute the skies.
and its you SICKFUCK that destroys the earth.
and you still want to act superior?
and you still claim this is your land?
and you still want to claim power for a fucking nation?
when will you humans learn?
when will you humans know?
when will you humans realize?
that you are just but a tiny sand in a huge desert?
that you are just but a fragment of imagination?
and you still think you are the masters of the world.
i hate you.
i hate you with all my strength,
and i wish to kill you.
because of you, everyone else suffers.
because of you, i suffer.
and because of you, everyone dies.
i am cold.
i am alone.
but this time i am not scared.
because you will never know who you are.
but we,
we will always know what kind of animal are you.
we will always know what kind of suffering u have brought to us.
and we will always know when we will kill you.
you humans, you always forget.
you will never learn.
and because of that, just we wait.
when the time comes,
when all of your power is nothing but sands.
when all of your money is nothing but dusts.
when all of your houses is nothing but leaves.
and yes, we will be there too.
to watch and enjoy,
watching you suffer for ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
until when can we stop arguing?
until when can we start loving?
until when can we start living?
i am cold,
i am tired,
i am sick of humans.
you humans, fucking egomaniacs.
you humans, fucking psychopaths.
you humans, fucking murderers.
didnt you know you are the greediest bastard God has ever created?
didnt you know that the animals themselves loathe at you?
didnt you even know that you are nothing?
you lie, with your stupid politics.
you cheat, with your stupid tongue.
you steal, with your dirty words.
just to get what that is not yours?
don't you have any shame?
why do you think that u are so superior?
because of your luxury cars?
because of your fucking mansion?
because of your beautiful wife?
because of your filthy fuck money?
you humans makes me confuse.
you humans make the animals confuse.
you sickfuck thrashed the forests.
you sickfuck pollute the skies.
and its you SICKFUCK that destroys the earth.
and you still want to act superior?
and you still claim this is your land?
and you still want to claim power for a fucking nation?
BIGOTRY!
when will you humans learn?
when will you humans know?
when will you humans realize?
that you are just but a tiny sand in a huge desert?
that you are just but a fragment of imagination?
and you still think you are the masters of the world.
i hate you.
i hate you with all my strength,
and i wish to kill you.
because of you, everyone else suffers.
because of you, i suffer.
and because of you, everyone dies.
i am cold.
i am alone.
but this time i am not scared.
because you will never know who you are.
but we,
we will always know what kind of animal are you.
we will always know what kind of suffering u have brought to us.
and we will always know when we will kill you.
you humans, you always forget.
you will never learn.
and because of that, just we wait.
when the time comes,
when all of your power is nothing but sands.
when all of your money is nothing but dusts.
when all of your houses is nothing but leaves.
and yes, we will be there too.
to watch and enjoy,
watching you suffer for ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, July 11, 2008
6 sided dice (part deux)
from our previous chapter:
"and thus comes the question that everyone like to say. this world is not fair. God is unfair and stuff like that."
well, in truth, people who say that are actually not well versed in reality, theologically and logically. and why do i say that. apparently those people have not been paying attention, AT ALL, either to the pattern of the world, their daily challenges or God's word. let's divulge further.
REALITY: in reality, life is not about fair. fair and life have nothing in common or do they have any relations at all. fair, in terms of actual life (like in sports, game etc) is 2 people or more, getting the same gear/items/boon while playing/competing. please emphasize the word same. now, unversally, what i have said earlier can be accepted as an analogy of what is fairness. but in reality, life is never fair. some are born rich, and some are born poor. some are born plain idiots and some are born intelligent. some are born pretty and some are born ugly. and so, where does fair fit in? none at all. because fair is not a part of life.
THEOLOGICALLY: in the words of God, He whom is all Powerful has stressed enough that this world is juat a big field. and God stressed that this world is created not to be enjoyed nor harvest. in the words of God, this is just a short stop before going home and God almighty is testing us with what that has been given to us. frankly, God does not want us to become all-good person whom if he stepped on an ant, the ant will not die. God just wants to see, how far can a human will go to obey God. God does not need you to be good. in fact, He does not need anything at all. so, just consider living is a bonus.
LOGICALLY: logically speaking, life can never be fair because its variables is set. variables that is set can only have one set of outcome. refer to "probability" and "human behavioral science". if all the variables that can be set, then we can have a fair set of probability. imagine 2 person who posess same variables. the outcome is simply braindead, they both will have the same set of probability. even so, if u wanted to look even further, the variables in human life patterns are simply too many to be conted. from "mood" to status of relationship" to family background to economic status. imagine how would you count the outcome? the example i gave was just to determine the outcome of a boy that is going to date a girl. imagine counting the probability of someone to get unto a train in thailand going to cambodia?
i could go on with all the gritty details but i think those three is enough to convince me that life is not fair at all. i have realized that life is not something to be enjoyed and that life is just a fatal disease. not only does it kills, it also intoxicates.
look at all the poor people who is willing to whore/assasinate/murder just to earn some invaluable paper that people call money? or are they trying to explain to us the value of life? easily bought by money? and do you see all the rich people who is too filthy rich that they keep all of their vast riches and let the poor rot and die? no even a pity's sake for the sick? i may never know and understand why do they do this and how can they absolve this cancer. but there is one thing that i do know..
is that the only thing that can cure it is the blissful nectar of beautiful DEATH..
"and thus comes the question that everyone like to say. this world is not fair. God is unfair and stuff like that."
well, in truth, people who say that are actually not well versed in reality, theologically and logically. and why do i say that. apparently those people have not been paying attention, AT ALL, either to the pattern of the world, their daily challenges or God's word. let's divulge further.
REALITY: in reality, life is not about fair. fair and life have nothing in common or do they have any relations at all. fair, in terms of actual life (like in sports, game etc) is 2 people or more, getting the same gear/items/boon while playing/competing. please emphasize the word same. now, unversally, what i have said earlier can be accepted as an analogy of what is fairness. but in reality, life is never fair. some are born rich, and some are born poor. some are born plain idiots and some are born intelligent. some are born pretty and some are born ugly. and so, where does fair fit in? none at all. because fair is not a part of life.
THEOLOGICALLY: in the words of God, He whom is all Powerful has stressed enough that this world is juat a big field. and God stressed that this world is created not to be enjoyed nor harvest. in the words of God, this is just a short stop before going home and God almighty is testing us with what that has been given to us. frankly, God does not want us to become all-good person whom if he stepped on an ant, the ant will not die. God just wants to see, how far can a human will go to obey God. God does not need you to be good. in fact, He does not need anything at all. so, just consider living is a bonus.
LOGICALLY: logically speaking, life can never be fair because its variables is set. variables that is set can only have one set of outcome. refer to "probability" and "human behavioral science". if all the variables that can be set, then we can have a fair set of probability. imagine 2 person who posess same variables. the outcome is simply braindead, they both will have the same set of probability. even so, if u wanted to look even further, the variables in human life patterns are simply too many to be conted. from "mood" to status of relationship" to family background to economic status. imagine how would you count the outcome? the example i gave was just to determine the outcome of a boy that is going to date a girl. imagine counting the probability of someone to get unto a train in thailand going to cambodia?
i could go on with all the gritty details but i think those three is enough to convince me that life is not fair at all. i have realized that life is not something to be enjoyed and that life is just a fatal disease. not only does it kills, it also intoxicates.
look at all the poor people who is willing to whore/assasinate/murder just to earn some invaluable paper that people call money? or are they trying to explain to us the value of life? easily bought by money? and do you see all the rich people who is too filthy rich that they keep all of their vast riches and let the poor rot and die? no even a pity's sake for the sick? i may never know and understand why do they do this and how can they absolve this cancer. but there is one thing that i do know..
is that the only thing that can cure it is the blissful nectar of beautiful DEATH..
the blissful nectar of beautiful DEATH..
6 sided dice
in this life, we can never expect anything. because nothing is expecting us. in this life, everything is decided, but not by us. in this life, we are faced with choices, but it means nothing because we can only take one path and not turn back. life is like a 6 sided dice, being rolled and the outcome is decided unto us. do you believe in me?
in today's world, everybody can be a good student, and achieve well in their academics, but he/she can never decide if he/she is to fail miserably or pass with distinctions. everybody can work their ass off but can never decide if he/she will be promoted. everybody can open a restaurant but nobody can guarantee that the restaurant will succeed. everybody can have sex but nobody can guarantee that they will get a child out of it. do you believe in me?
lets do some math:
situation 1
aldrahn, a manager of a big factory, is very wealthy. he came from a very wealthy family and received excellent education. he currently have a salary of 50k per month and owns a lot of houses, real estate and cars. he is married to a beutiful wife and has a son.
samoth, a janitor in a big superstore, is a so-so earner. he came from a not so wealthy family and didnt receive good education. he currently earns 800 per month and is renting a house with his mediocre wife. they have a son.
2 of these people are ordinary people and are only separayed by their jobs, wealth and wife. now, i will ask you:
which of these two will be rich in the next 5 or 6 years?
whose son will flourish into the archetypal son? whose wife will die first?
who will die of cancer after 6 years?
whose house will be infested by termites tomorrow?
who will lose a hand 2 weeks later?
who will become pregnant 6 weeks later?
situation 2:
miranda, 17 year old is pregnant is labouring today. she has been in the hospital because she is expected to labour her child anytime soon.
ihriel, 26 year old is pregnant and is at home. she is also 9 months pregnant but the doctors said she will deliver anytime next week.
questions:
who will give birth to a handicapped child?
who will deliver first?
who will die delivering?
situation 3:
ihsahn, a 26 year old person with tuberculosis is lying on his bed in a certain hospital. he is treated with X medicine, Y medicine and Z medicine. he is currently suffering from tb since 3 years ago.
trym, a 26 year old persion with tuberculosis is lying on his bed in the same hospital as ihsahn. he is treated with the same medicine ihsahn is given. he has suffered tb for 3 years now.
simple question:
who will live after 3 years?
now, for a fact that we know humans have patterns can decide the outcome of anything theoretically. i repeat, THEORETICALLY. a person that is given the same amount of treatment can heal after 3 years. a person who work his ass off can be rich no matter what. a person who has sex can get pregnant. a person who is from good looking parents can be good looking too. a person who eats too much can get fat. do you know why they used the word "can"? because it can happen, but i can also wont happen at all. when a person says "i can", it is not absoluteness. it is not a certainty.
now, who does all the job? who will decide all the whatifs? who will roll the dice?
in actuality, there is no dice. there is only one written path. do you know why someone achieved success because she studies hard? it is because she was meant to have that path. do you know what someone who didnt study at all did not drop out from college? it is because he was meant to have that path. actually, there is no path at all.
to explain in simple english, here's how:
someone who passed her exams with distinction said, i studied very hard for this. in actuality, she did not study hard. she was give the way to success by having herself given the way of study. it was all predetermined. even when i am blogging. it is what i am supposed to do. because everything has a purpose. nothing in this world can exist without having a purpose.
and thus comes the question that everyone like to say. this world is not fair. God is unfair and stuff like that.
well, im kinda sleepy to carry on.. ill continue this tomorrow, InsyaAllah..
good nite to whomever is reading this.. and thank you, i appreciate it a lot..
in today's world, everybody can be a good student, and achieve well in their academics, but he/she can never decide if he/she is to fail miserably or pass with distinctions. everybody can work their ass off but can never decide if he/she will be promoted. everybody can open a restaurant but nobody can guarantee that the restaurant will succeed. everybody can have sex but nobody can guarantee that they will get a child out of it. do you believe in me?
lets do some math:
situation 1
aldrahn, a manager of a big factory, is very wealthy. he came from a very wealthy family and received excellent education. he currently have a salary of 50k per month and owns a lot of houses, real estate and cars. he is married to a beutiful wife and has a son.
samoth, a janitor in a big superstore, is a so-so earner. he came from a not so wealthy family and didnt receive good education. he currently earns 800 per month and is renting a house with his mediocre wife. they have a son.
2 of these people are ordinary people and are only separayed by their jobs, wealth and wife. now, i will ask you:
which of these two will be rich in the next 5 or 6 years?
whose son will flourish into the archetypal son? whose wife will die first?
who will die of cancer after 6 years?
whose house will be infested by termites tomorrow?
who will lose a hand 2 weeks later?
who will become pregnant 6 weeks later?
situation 2:
miranda, 17 year old is pregnant is labouring today. she has been in the hospital because she is expected to labour her child anytime soon.
ihriel, 26 year old is pregnant and is at home. she is also 9 months pregnant but the doctors said she will deliver anytime next week.
questions:
who will give birth to a handicapped child?
who will deliver first?
who will die delivering?
situation 3:
ihsahn, a 26 year old person with tuberculosis is lying on his bed in a certain hospital. he is treated with X medicine, Y medicine and Z medicine. he is currently suffering from tb since 3 years ago.
trym, a 26 year old persion with tuberculosis is lying on his bed in the same hospital as ihsahn. he is treated with the same medicine ihsahn is given. he has suffered tb for 3 years now.
simple question:
who will live after 3 years?
now, for a fact that we know humans have patterns can decide the outcome of anything theoretically. i repeat, THEORETICALLY. a person that is given the same amount of treatment can heal after 3 years. a person who work his ass off can be rich no matter what. a person who has sex can get pregnant. a person who is from good looking parents can be good looking too. a person who eats too much can get fat. do you know why they used the word "can"? because it can happen, but i can also wont happen at all. when a person says "i can", it is not absoluteness. it is not a certainty.
now, who does all the job? who will decide all the whatifs? who will roll the dice?
in actuality, there is no dice. there is only one written path. do you know why someone achieved success because she studies hard? it is because she was meant to have that path. do you know what someone who didnt study at all did not drop out from college? it is because he was meant to have that path. actually, there is no path at all.
to explain in simple english, here's how:
someone who passed her exams with distinction said, i studied very hard for this. in actuality, she did not study hard. she was give the way to success by having herself given the way of study. it was all predetermined. even when i am blogging. it is what i am supposed to do. because everything has a purpose. nothing in this world can exist without having a purpose.
and thus comes the question that everyone like to say. this world is not fair. God is unfair and stuff like that.
well, im kinda sleepy to carry on.. ill continue this tomorrow, InsyaAllah..
good nite to whomever is reading this.. and thank you, i appreciate it a lot..
cat's luck
this is my cat, sleeping. his name is jinx. jinx is sleeping soundly. he looks very peaceful. i wish can have that peace. i'd die for even a hint of that peace. do you know why jinx is at peace? because jinx doesnt have anything to think about. everytime he comes home, he is fed. if he is sleepy, he'll sleep anywhere in the house. should he accidently dropped a glass full of water on a piece of important paper, he isnt judged. he is forgiven. and everyday in his life, he'll be treated nicely and will even be given a kiss to the head. in fact, nobody in this house can and will do anything to harm jinx!
i have a wish. i wish that someday i could do the same thing i did to jinx to everyone else in this world. if they are needy, we'll share together. if they are hungry, we'll eat together. if they are homeless, we'll live together. if they are burdened, we'll carry it together. if they did something wrong, we'll bear it together.
sometimes its funny that animals get all the good stuff. but humans can and will never treat humans with the same kind of treatment. and i wonder why.
we wished we were you jinx.
we wished we were.
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